Tag Archives: relationship

Are You Still A Slave?

FotoFlexer_Photo 1Shahrazad Ali is an author of several books, including a paperback called “The Blackman’s Guide to Understanding the Blackwoman”. The book was controversial bringing “forth community forums, pickets and heated arguments among blacks in many parts” of the US when it was published in 1989. However, as time has past Sister Shahrazad Ali was absolutely correct about the relationship between black men and women.

This is a very important question to ask yourself. Sister Shahrazad Ali gives some real-talk about the current situation in the black community. How can black people gain anything if we are divided and fight against each other! If her suggestions are followed, Black people will go a long way, although not in physical chain but to break the chains of mental slavery. And that’s my thought provoking perspective…

Love In Loneliness

23I don’t want my karma to be the curse of repetition. 
For the world to teach me real loneliness,
to rival what I’ve whined about,
to rival the darkness I fear. 
I don’t want my curse to be the devotion I had and lost.
To be replaced with the mirror of my worst fear.
I love that I love you and that scares me.
I love that I’m in love with you
the limits I know not of. It is dangerous.
I want to try for you.
I need you to know what I cry for.
I want to breathe in your passion even
if I have to imagine it there.
Why won’t you glow for me?
What about me doesn’t inspire effort?
Doesn’t inspire what I feel I do,
and feel and give to you? To us!
Why do you allow me to be a one woman relay?
Passing a baton of hope and of happiness to myself
and begging for you to pick up the anchor leg of this race.
Panting for you to meet me half way,
and sweating out bits of myself, as I run to you.  
When will my smile be enough for you to run to me again?
When will my need for you be enough again?
I miss you when you are physically here
and it’s heartbreaking.
I’d expect a longing in distance,
but not emptiness in close proximity.
Where are you?
Where is the man that worked tirelessly
to ensure that I knew you were here for me.
Where is he?
I need the warmth of him, the embrace
that taught me the special of my being.
Where are you love? I miss you.
Am I still visible enough to be missed too?
Am I still tangible enough to your being,
to still be important enough to your world?

Kathryn Sabir-Beach

FINALLY!!! It’s been said…

As we travel through the journey of our lives we must endure enormous challenges. The puppet masters have devised a system designed to divide and conquer in order to maintain control over our lives. It’s worked very well for over four hundred years. I think we are now wise enough, or should be, to see this and overcome the devastating impact it has had upon us. Particularly, as it relates to our families and relationships at a time when our children are lost and dying. We need this message more than ever.

A few days ago, I received an enormously powerful message from a fellow author, Cassandra Mack, who I consider a friend. Her message was so profound and meaningful that I was actually shocked – not shocked in a negative sense. Rather, extremely impressed by her heartfelt words. The message spoke to a truth many African American’s know but fail to acknowledge or admit. It is a concern, or maybe an issue, that speaks to the fabric of our connection to one another. I firmly believe you can change the world but first you must change yourself and that means you’re prospective.

Cassandra articulated so eloquently what, dare I say, few would openly admit – let alone publish. I was so proud of her for writing this impassionate call for honest introspective thought that I felt the need to share it with you (with her permission of course):

“Brothers…We Need You Even When We Claim That We Don’t” by Cassandra Mack

There are so many scars inside of black men and women that sometimes without realizing it we tear each other down when we should be building each other up. With all that we are struggling with and against, it’s no wonder that sometimes we struggle to love ourselves and each other. But despite all of our struggles there is one thing that remains constant: My beloved brothers…My Black Kings….My Visionary men of honor and integrity…WE NEED YOU. We need you with every fiber of our being and every inch of our soul. Trust and believe…WE NEED YOU!

No matter what things look like externally or how much it seems like black women have arrived, we need you. We need you irrespective of our circumstances. We need you whether we’re living in million dollar homes with luxury cars or pinching our pennies together to make ends meet. Contrary to popular belief, our need for you doesn’t change with our income or education level, because our need for you is internal.

Do you understand this? I mean do you really understand how deep our need for you goes? Our need for you goes so deep that it scares us silly, so much so, that we say things like, “I don’t need a man,” in an attempt to downplay this need and diminish your importance in our lives. We somehow believe that if we say the words, “I don’t need a man,” we can remove the pain, sense of loss and vulnerability that we feel when you are missing from our lives, our homes, our families and our beds.

But here’s the funny thing about needs – they extend both ways. If we need you, then it would stand to reason that you need us too, so please don’t give up on us and whatever you do, don’t allow us to give up on you. WE NEED YOU.

This note was excerpted from Cassandra Mack’s book,
“The Black Man’s Little Book of Encouragement”
Copyright © 2009 by Cassandra Mack

Get your copy of “Just a Season” today
It is a must read novel…


A Father’s Day Message!!!

With Father’s Day upon us – I wanted to share a few thoughts concerning this special day. First, let me start by saying that I was abandoned by the guy who was responsible for my being. With that said, I never have nor will I ever call him my father because I never saw him as a man. Now, I understand that he did have the necessary equipment to procreate, which mean there is a difference between making a baby and being a father. Any male can create a life but it takes a unique soul to be a father because that man acknowledges the responsibility which begets, raises, and nurtures a child. This is a gift that life denied me but there was a special man who assumed that role – my Granddaddy. I would always say to him that he was the greatest gift God could have given to me.

To honor him I featured this great man in my novel “Just a Season”. I fondly remember the most lasting impression Granddaddy made upon me. It was “I raised you to be a man and as a man you don’t know what you will have to do, but when the time comes – do it”. The result of not having this guy in my life as a father created a yearning deep within me to be a father and to make sure my child had this special gift in his life. Thankfully, God blessed me with a wonderful son allowing me to realize this dream and if I must say I was a “GREAT FATHER”. Then as if in the blink of an eye God took him – twenty years later and it still hurts… WOW!!!

I am sharing this for two reasons: One, I want each man to know that fatherhood is an amazing blessing. Two, to say to mother’s that it is very important to have a man in the life of your child be it the child’s father or a male to nurture the life of that child. I often hear this statement from women – “I am a strong woman, independent, and successful”, which maybe true but if you have a son you cannot raise him to be a man. I say this in the same vain that your daughters need a father also and I said father not just a man in their lives.

Fathers who are able to develop into responsible parents are able to engender a number of significant benefits for themselves, their communities, and most importantly, their children. Involved fathers offer developmentally specific provisions to their sons and daughters throughout the life cycle and are impacted themselves by doing so. Active father figures have a key role to play in reducing behavior problems in boys and psychological problems in young women. For example, children who experience significant father involvement tend to exhibit higher scores on assessments of cognitive development, enhanced social skills and fewer behavior problems.

Increased amounts of father-child involvement have also proven to increase a child’s social stability, educational achievement, and even their potential to have a solid marriage as an adult. These children are also more curious about the world around them and develop greater problem solving skills. Children who were raised without fathers perceive themselves to be less cognitive and physically competent than their peers from father-present families. Mothers raising children without fathers report more severe disputes with their children. Sons raised without father’s shows more feminine attributes but no less masculine characteristics of gender role behavior.

I submit that the absence of FATHER’S is a direct result of the condition of many families, the devastation of our communities, and dare I say our society. We have entered a new era of “HOPE” and I pray that males will make this profound transformation into manhood. Forget about all those things that may have caused the unholy condition you face, accept your responsibility, honor your children, and be a man. Because regardless of what you believe because the reason we live is to continue the species and as African American’s we are losing the battle.


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